[Our CEO’s Blog] Disabilities Are Not Personalities.
Introduction
Many people say, “Disabilities are a part of one’s personality.”
Whether they have someone with a disability in their life or not, people from various walks of life often express sentiments like:
“Disabilities are part of who you are.”
“I hope society will come to recognize disabilities as individuality.”
I completely understand what they mean. Their intentions are heartfelt and well-meaning.
Moreover, the future they envision likely doesn’t differ much from the future we aim to create.
But precisely because of this shared vision, I feel the need to express something deeper:
“Disabilities are not personalities.”
“Personality shouldn’t be this painful or difficult to bear.”
I Am Also Living with a Disability
While I usually share my thoughts on social media as a mother of a child with a disability, I, too, am someone living with a disability.
I have been diagnosed with dissociative disorder, adjustment disorder, and panic disorder.
From my perspective as someone directly affected, the phrase “Disabilities are personalities” may sound kind and well-meaning, but I can’t help but feel a significant disconnect.
To put it bluntly:
“Please don’t wrap it all up in such pretty words.”
Don’t Simplify It as “Personality” with Pretty Words
When we say “personality,” it usually refers to being “unique,” doesn’t it?
I understand it as a message like, “You might be a little different from others, but that difference is an important part of who you are.”
And yes, that’s absolutely true.
But…
For example, intellectual or mental disabilities are not always visible. This means the struggles and difficulties hidden behind the disability are even harder to see.
There are people who appear happy but can’t stop shaking without taking tranquilizers.
There are people who are so frightened by the sound of hand dryers that they can’t use public restrooms.
There are people who involuntarily shout every few seconds and are treated as “weird” wherever they go.
I don’t want the pain of these individuals to be dismissed with the neat and tidy word “personality.”
When Someone Says, “I (or my child) Have a Disability”
No one chooses to become a person with a disability.
No one wishes for their child to be born with a disability.
And frankly, it would be better if disabilities didn’t exist at all.
Yet, for some reason, there are people born with disabilities.
There are also people who acquire disabilities due to their environment, accidents, or other circumstances.
In Japan, the word “disability” often leads the conversation, while understanding of its reality lags far behind.
In such a society, saying, “I have a disability” or “My child has a disability” requires immense courage.
But if someone close to you opens up and shares this with you, please don’t conclude the conversation by saying,
“Disabilities are just personalities.”
I know this sentiment often comes from kindness. I truly do.
But what eases the struggles of living with a disability isn’t comfort or reassurances. It’s the willingness to try to understand their pain.
So instead, ask questions like, “What kind of disability is it?” Listen to their story. Listen a lot.
If more people can learn about and understand disabilities, one person at a time, it will help those who gathered the courage to speak up think,
“I’m glad I opened up.”
Written by Miki Uchiki